Dust to dust
by RedMamba
Summary: About what Alucard has lost and Integra possesses. A sensation that bears no name, but is so important. OS


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Hellsing, nor do I make any profit of this story.

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><p>Dust to dust, as it was said so aptly. The figure crumbled to what it - former he - was made of: a pile of ash and dust, to be blown into the wind and eternally resting.<br>It was somehow _pleasing _to see how easily an undead life, a supposedly eternal life, was taken away by a single bullet of his silver gun. What this freak once had been would never be remembered by anyone, but the deeds he did in his second, night life were to be engraved into the hearts and souls of all those he ever touched. Like a curse that would never be lifted off of all the lives he came across it would feel, but even this lingering darkness would eventually fade with time and the hardship-enduring human would once again stand up.

He never understood this feeling. He was sure he had had it once too, long time ago, in another life, in another time. He knew this sensation, but he couldn't understand it anymore too much time had passed and human emotions was something he virtually never felt.

"_Well? Your report," she stood there before him, emitting an aura of authority he knew he once had possessed too, maybe still possessed. But unlike him she radiated another thing, something he lost on his way here._

"_A single vampire and some ghouls, no survivors," he answered her demand. He wore his grin as smug as always, his voice did sound as always, even his hair fluttered around him as always._

"_Alucard?" her tone did not change from the usual when she spoke with him, but he could feel her worry even if it was covered under all other emotions swirling inside her head._

_He said nothing, but showed his grin. She snorted and walked to the car parked behind the roadblock.  
><em>

Another day another mission came and he once again found himself before an opponent far weaker than he ever had been. And again blood and dust covered him as he slaughtered the vampire; the human too weak to stand upright, tempted by the gift of an eternity. Nothing was left of that woman. No body to be buried, no strand of hair to hold onto, nothing more than a sigh in the endless skies. A sigh knowing what would have happened if she hadn't died this night.

Today he had come alone. No one was here to inquire him of what had happened and no one was here, who was human. He stood in a cottage far away from any human habitations and the Draculina's presence had chased all the animals away long ago.

He set the cottage on fire.

"_Master," he didn't have to add anything he knew she had felt his coming. "The mission was a success; didn't put up much of a fight, though," he reported as he stepped into her office through the walls._

_She didn't flinch nor did she show any sign of noticing his presence. She signed a paper with her long name and finally looked up, her cold and sharp blue eyes narrowing briefly. Then she put her name on another paper and put the pen away._

"_Good. That would be it Alucard. If you have no purpose for intruding on me and interrupting my work, I have to have you out of this room," she gestured towards the door and picked up a cigar, lit it and took a breath. When she exhaled the gray smoke into the air she took the pen once again and started to read a file and crossing out lines she didn't approve of._

_Else than on other days he truly had a 'purpose' for stepping into her office. He changed his form and went to sit beside her desk. He didn't dare to go nearer for he did not want to intrude on her private space, but he wanted to be here at this very place, at her side where he felt he belonged._

_The hint of a smile washed over her face; she knew something was up, he wasn't this strange usually. She gently patted the six-eyed dog's head and continued to work. Even in this overworked state of mind she could manage this much multitasking. Her brows knitted as she re-read a strange sentence for the nth time and couldn't make out any coherent meaning behind it.  
><em>

He felt the warmth from her living body through this simple touch. He was not reading her mind, but he immediately felt her irritation when she looked at her work. She was so human, so alive. Had he in his human life so long ago ever felt so living? He did not remember. Maybe she didn't feel her life that strongly, too. He felt her hand once again in his thick fur and felt the radiating warmth. No, she knew she was alive better than anyone.

Maybe it wasn't that bad to be a dog.


End file.
